So this evening, after work, I needed to use our one & only bathroom.
I was doing my thing when I looked over at the tile wall and noticed a dark reddish brown smear on the wall.
"Slobs!" I thought.
So I saunter downstairs where my family is & say "Ok, who left the bloody booger smeared on the wall".
Immediate "Wasn't me!" "I didn't do it"
Then from right in front of me the 5 yo says:
"Oh that's not a boogie"
"It's not?" I replied.
So my overly honest little bundle of angelic joy said:
"No, see I was going poop AND it was a lot AND it got on my finger, so I wiped it on the wall!"
And that my friends explains why the HazMat team is outside my front door.